In the future staff will no longer have a physical manager on-site. Instead they will access e-Manager, a plethora of websites where they will log all the intricacies of their performance management cycle into pre-formatted web pages. They will then receive feedback from these cyber entities at an unspecified future date via automated emails based on algorithms no one understands.
Recourse will be addressed through a telephone hotline. When dialed an IVR answers and routes frustrated callers through a complex menu system to standardized automated solutions recorded in the voice of Boris Karloff. Any attempts to speak with an actual human are immediately banished to the “All our representatives are busy serving other customers, please hold” netherworld. This wasteland sentences the unfortunate caller to a repetitive Muzak rendition of Barry Manilow’s Copacabana until death results either from cranial implosion or sheer disgust, whichever comes first. This ensures that all complaints are solved via the initial call to the hotline, a statistic Senior Management tracks religiously.
Recourse will be addressed through a telephone hotline. When dialed an IVR answers and routes frustrated callers through a complex menu system to standardized automated solutions recorded in the voice of Boris Karloff. Any attempts to speak with an actual human are immediately banished to the “All our representatives are busy serving other customers, please hold” netherworld. This wasteland sentences the unfortunate caller to a repetitive Muzak rendition of Barry Manilow’s Copacabana until death results either from cranial implosion or sheer disgust, whichever comes first. This ensures that all complaints are solved via the initial call to the hotline, a statistic Senior Management tracks religiously.
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