Maybe a shaman would work...

Apparently the exorcism might not be enough. Last night, without a puff of smoke being present, a smoke detector emitted a piercing shriek, just long enough to wake the entire household from its slumber. It then went deathly silent, foiling any attempt to track down which detector was the culprit. We are now sleep deprived and searching for any entity which will put an end to this appliance insurrection.

Appliance Woes revisited

Two nights ago my wife’s reading light suddenly developed its own animus. When she turned off the switch on the lamp itself it emanated a keening hiss, accompanied by a lazy strobe-like flashing which had me convinced one of us would imminently be teleported elsewhere should we stand anywhere within the radiance of its penumbra. My wife hit the backup switch on the wall and all went eerily silent and dark. Now, in the light of day, nether switch works and it’s obvious we need to call an electrician and not Mr. Scott.

Perhaps an exorcism is in order

Consider this. In a misguided and extremely irritating show of solidarity, our appliances have decided that since I am not working, neither will they. At least not properly that is. Behold:

Sprinkler System. Now operating in mind-of-its-own, stealth attack mode. Instead of going off during the wee hours of the night when they are programmed to, the sprinkler heads wait until an innocent passerby steps within their range then leap into action, drenching the unsuspecting victim.

Tankless Hot Water Heater: Supplies hot water for the entire house. Whenever we draw hot water, it now makes a noise similar to the roar of the Space Shuttle taking off on its initial launch.

Guest Bathroom Sink: Engaged in an unrelenting drip, which while good for applying the Chinese Water Torture to guests who have overstayed their welcome, is extremely wasteful at a time when we can least afford it.

Storage Refrigerator/Freezer: Died yesterday. Or rather, the fan is still working but it is not cooling. In a desperate and unsuccessful attempt to rescue our life savings worth of meat products I think I found several specimens from the Cretaceous period.

Garbage Disposal: Not disposing. In fact quite the opposite actually. When turned on it does a low budget impression of Old Faithful, spouting debris into the air in a geyser-like fashion.