Patrick, Patron Saint of Ireland: An exploration of myths

The fabled Saint Patrick has an elusive background which has proven hard to track down. Many interpretations of Saint Patrick’s biography and his meaning to the Irish abound, but none is definitive. In this post we will endeavor to explain several of the more prominent ones.

In the course of our research the three most prevalent myths which we ran across were the following:

Myth 1) Patrick: Patron saint of the all night pub crawl.

While the available body of evidence does not allow the dates of Patrick's life to be fixed with certainty, we do know that he had an innate ability to convince hordes of people to follow him around from pub to pub as he looked for the ever elusive inspiration of his life’s work in the bottom of a pewter mug after consuming its contents. It is unclear what the contents of said mugs were, but third hand accounts have stated that the longer the night went on, the more garbled Patrick’s fabled pronouncements became, to the point where his wife would have to come and pack him off home, since his speech had become completely slurred and unintelligible. An interesting side note to all this is that there is not even one reported bodily injury to Patrick or any of his followers during any of these nocturnal excursions.

Myth 2) Patrick: Luckiest man in all of Ireland.

Many have stated that Patrick was sanctified due to his incredibly long run of good luck, since no one believed that any human being could enjoy such an implausible stretch of beneficent fortune without divine intervention. Ironically, the minute he was canonized his run of luck ended and his golf game suffered terribly as a result. Patrick never forgave his promoters for this and he died an embittered man with a 47 handicap.

Myth 3) Patrick: Banisher of Snakes.

Legend has it that when Patrick’s pet python reported him to the Irish version of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals for not feeding it Lobster Thermidor and Chateaubriand every other Friday evening, Patrick banished it and all snakes from Ireland in a fit of pique. Sadly, Patrick’s wife also left him for the very same reason and his attempt to similarly banish all women from the Emerald Isle was met with fierce resistance from the rest of the country’s male population. Patrick eventually remarried and at the time of his death was working on a petition to allow only female snakes back on the island.

Conclusion

It is our hope that this explanation has clarified any doubts readers may have about the legend of Saint Patrick. Suffice it to say that he is still venerated today more than ever. This is evidenced by the fact that on March 17th, St. Patrick’s Day, millions of people around the globe drink millions of gallons of green beer and march in parades, all in remembrance of his name. So, happy Saint Patrick’s Day and Erin Go Bragh!